(Dark Days Series) Ugly Feelings

Ugly Feelings

Deepening wounds within I feel; cracks, crevices, broken foundation; the feeling the strangest sensations. Falling to pieces and know it is true, worse is the feeling knowing there is nothing I can do. Just crumble down and fall as if a building of age; falling and flailing in fits of rage. 
No recovery seems near or within my sight these ugliest feelings I try to fight,  to end this feeling welling up inside; these feelings I have from everyone I hide.  So to my cavern I climb away, maybe I will or won’t see the next day. Desperation it seems to well in my brain for I know I must be insane.
Take these device that I did befriend, let them be my end; but thoughts linger to the brighter days and friends and family who I know I would hurt with the actions I intended to undertake, with this thought I decision I make.
Fight to the end make it through I will, with these happier thought my heart I do fill. But dark days are never faraway and so I make sure I say ‘I love me’ every single day.

©Chris Chonos

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