If any one is wondering why I haven’t posted in a few days here is the scoop…I am working to fix myself.

All building up….

Everything has been building up and I’m starting to try and take control…I don’t know how this is going to work…I feel as though everyone will be disappointed if I decide to leave the job I’m at because of how everyone views it as an easy job that I get to sit at a computer and work from home. 

I know I’m afraid to ask for help but starting to feel as though I have to reach out and depression is probably part of that problem and I know I have ADHD. I can’t sit and focus on one thing. I think that is why the military was so good for me…There was always something a little new or different and I felt special….I don’t feel that anymore I also feel like I don’t have control over things like I use to have and that is a weird feeling. 

To be honest I use to think it was everyone else’s fault I feel this way but know now it is me. I am the one that let myself get this way and bottle things up and not convey my feelings…I was brought up to suck it up butter cup and that isn’t working anymore at almost 50 I feel as though I’m starting over both with my physical life and mental and emotional life.

I know I can’t be afraid of help and that is truly what I need. I’m going for the first job interview today I’ve had in probably almost 16 years…something not with the government…I never had to really interview for jobs before and it is scary.  I’m going to talk to them and see what they say…I know I have ADHD and have had it my whole life…I can’t be verbally told to do something…it just goes in one year and out the other…that is why I need to be shown something and have someone sit there and spoon feed me information…I just don’t remember most of it unless I do it a bunch of times.

Recognizing all of these things and admitting them is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do…


My family


Family is the greatest thing you see

The luckiest man I must be

My family feeds my soul with love and affection

And gives my life purpose and direction

My wife which I love and adore

Gives me love I’ve never felt before

The puppies they loves with kisses and tails waging

On these two pups I am always bragging

Our cat cuddles like none I’ve ever seen

Just wants to be where you are

A son that has such a big heart

I knew I would love him right from the start

My family you see is the most important thing in my life

Bring me joy and happiness I feel every day

Makes my heart full with love that no monet can pay

So I treasure my family as you can see

Thankful for them each and every day

Painting Inspires

I call this painting ‘In the Breeze’.

I enjoy this other part of my life…it is so relaxing to just go with an idea even if I may not be the best painter. I like using my iPad to do digital painting and bringing things to life that are rolling around in my head. Maybe it will inspire a poem in the future.

First post

I wanted to share a little about myself in this first post. I’m a guy that just loves writing down his thoughts and sharing myself with the world. I find writing to be a very therapeutic and helps me deal with the world around me. I am married to a very beautiful woman and have a great step son, both I love with all my heart and would do anything for. I recently retired from one career and and working on my second one…very challenging to change to say the least when you are 49 years old.

My posts will not follow any set pattern and could range from just the mundane thoughts to the deepest poetry I can pull from my inner being.

So begins the journey…