I have been thinking a lot about my writing lately and have two different journals now that are digital; and have been writing in them consistently the last week. I have one that is my personal journal and one that is a composition journal where I write personal thoughts down. I have also challenged myself to a writing prompt journal and included a gratitude journal. I’ve becomes obsesses with writing in them and my writing practice is in full swing. I’m challenging myself every day with them.
I have also ordered leather bound journal I’m going to use for my year project starting on the 12th of February. I’m still working out the details but hope to write there and then chronicle it in my blog on every Sunday through the year. I am excited for this challenge and will pull numerous things out of it to post here so those posts might be a little chaotic but I think it will be interesting to share a full year of my life.
One last thing that has changed, is that I have fully dedicated myself to meditation. I have jumped in and out of meditation for a few years and the last time I did 69 practices in a row and never felt better mentally and emotionally. I’m not sure why I stopped but I miss feeling that way and just the 2 days I have practiced have made me feel a lot better.
So, lots of changes and things to keep me focused…even cooking is becoming more of a focus for me, trying new recipes and different foods.
So there it is my life changes and kind of my resolutions that I hope to keep not just for this year but for the rest of my life.h
I have been struggling lately with deciding how to journal, I know nothing that will change the world, but I have thought about it a lot lately. Many people will tell you pen to paper is the only way to journal and give you that real connection to your writing and I agree with that, but the convenience of technology and journal apps is definitely inviting…quiet the quandary.
I have had digital journals and they are definitely handy, but recently I moved away from that and just stored my diary digitally, but now I had a ah hah moment, why not combine the two. I can write notes in my notebook and create sketches on my tablet and add them both to the online journal, my paper journal will contain notes and when technology isn’t available or I just want to jot down a quick note I can write them down or even transcribe entire notes to my app. I know this seems like double work but hear me out.
Not only do you have your thoughts in two places but you also have time to refine those ideas and if it is a poem even clean it up, I also like being able to see what I crossed out on paper because sometimes those outside notes or scribbles can inspire other ideas…so it is a win win for me.
Ok, I know what you’re saying this isn’t some great idea or huge revelation in thought but I think it is a nice compromise of pen and paper and technology and a way to combine to ways of writing.
Most my words hidden away from prying eyes, no sound read, most locked away inside my head.
So many times as men we are expected to keep our emotions locked away; and society doesn’t want us to be real. It is frustrating and showing your feelings is a sign of weakened. I embrace that and feel it is mor a sign of strength…we have feelings.
Identifying the real me
Not just what people see
A man that feels pain inside
A emotion he tries to hide
Sadness sometimes does appear
To show he does fear
The happiness to control
Sometimes his heart is full
But keep it locked away
So society does say
But he is human and does feel
Those emotions keep him real
As the year comes to an end and the calendar is changed to the new year it is time to reflect. With reflection comes many thoughts of the good and bad of the last year and ups and downs, but always remembering all experiences are learning experiences.
I had plenty of ups and downs with my writing, days where I didn’t think there was enough time to put down all of my words and others where I couldn’t find the words for anything. I created pages to share the music I would make and where I could share some of my love of photography. Each time showing a little more of myself.
I announced I was going to write a book and created a journal page to share that journey and learned how difficult it is to really write a book and redirected a lot of my efforts to learning the process.
With all these changes and experiences I learned more about myself; and with the new year I know I will learn so much more.
So with that I wish everyone a happy new year and may all of your resolutions and dreams come true.
The last couple of days we have been in the grasp of a huge winter storm. The last couple of days we have gotten about 12 inches of snow and today we don’t have snow but frigid temperatures with the windchill. The temperature right now is -35 f. I will not be clearing the snow since it is just going to cover up all my work, so I stay warm while I can and not go out unless I have to.
Winter is Here
Two days the snow did gather upon the ground, there was white all around.
Pretty and light, easy to shovel, didn’t even strain a muscle.
But today the the winter storm rages, dropping temperature gages.
Minus thirty-five they say on this blustery day. Wind it is whirling, snow it is swirling. Wind it does whistle causing you to bristle.
Winter is here to put on a show, blowing around this fresh fallen snow.
I have been away from the keyboard and not writing much, just haven’t felt the need to write and though taking these rare breaks can be good to me and to be honest I was down on myself and felt my writing wasn’t good enough and would never be good enough, but I am tired of feeling that way and am back on the horse doing what I love, so I wrote the short poem below to announce I’m back and longer word poor.
Writing has become far and between
The words I have not seen
Been alone away from writing word
Nothing to inspire in my head heard
But it has come to me at last
Like the words I heard from the past
Letting those words flow now
My mind knows again now
Just let them come and put them down
Writing these words takes away the frown
So I’m back and ready to write some more
I’m no longer word poor
Feeling nothing inside, from darkness can’t hide.
Shadows creeping in, soon consume. Filled with sorrow and doom.
No light can be seen, all feels dark and mean.
I claws and and scrape, desperate to escape.
my mind full of gloom, my own dark room room.
I know what I write is not classical rules for poetry and sometimes I feel as though this is a hinderance but it is who I am. This poem shows how I feel about my writing and have thought about for a while now.
Poetry written without structure, outside lines if you will
In the lines words I fill
Not fitting the lines as the rules say
With these words I do play
Feel as a rebel would snubbing my nose
With this my confidence it grows
Must put these words down and hope they are read
This poetry my soul forever fed
Just a little note: I enjoy true crime shows, yes I’m addicted so I wrote a poem as I watched a show on tv.
Darkness lies deep within, eyes dark hidden by light
When exposed gives deadly fright
Take a life with no remorse
See this as the only course
Killer lives within their very soul
Cashing in their only goal
Live a life off a life taken away
Just a killers typical day